“If I were allowed to be soft and it were safe to be me…I would…”
You are allowed to be soft, Alicia. And it is safe to be you. It's the only one you can be!
I love the conversation between Pearl and Water ~ Hardness and Softness.
We are who we are, soft and sensitive ~ I believe that's the core nature of all humans. That's how we are born. Toughness and hardness are protective layers added later, in compensation for wounds of trauma, survival strategies of sensitive humans, scared of their own softness.
Being in connection with our softness and sensitivity means ~ in my experience ~ that we have access to our vulnerable selves. It's a great strength, although it may not feel like that sometimes.
We are allowed to be soft. It is safe to be ourselves. In fact, it's the safest way to be, because it's authentic.
Authentic softness makes us resilient, fluid and resourceful ~ like water ~ the strongest and most creative element. The experience of vulnerability does not arise from softness but from fear of rejection, which is a whole other story...
Love! So much beauty in there, in those spacious words of softness. I think there are different parts to rejection. For example, I think the biggest lie is that because of how someone else relates to our authentic innocence, we must therefore reject ourselves and/our judge them. This feeling of leaving love for self or other is the greatest pain, other than physical torture/excruciating pain.🦄 To be rejected simply because there isn't an alignment is pretty neutral. I think it's when the implication is "There's something wrong with me," and/or how they show up elicits in us judgment and we leave the seat of What We Are as love and we are devastated, however illusory that departure is..🩷
What you are describing sounds to me like the deepest source of our trauma. Being in our authentic innocence is who we are as babies/ young children. Rejection slams the door in the face of our innocence, telling us we are 'bad' the way we are ~ because 'doing something bad' in the assessment of ignorant parents feels to the child like 'being bad'. This may only be something small 'objectively'. In the child's experience it's huge. It's their whole world as they know it. In that moment the abandonment of self begins and many innocent humans start to practice being people pleasers. That self-abandonment, as you say, is the greatest pain.
We so easily interpret rejection as 'There is something wrong with me' (I'm talking from ample experience). But it's also the route to finding our uniqueness and become strong without losing our softness. Growing from innocence into wisdom.
“If I were allowed to be soft and it were safe to be me…I would…”
You are allowed to be soft, Alicia. And it is safe to be you. It's the only one you can be!
I love the conversation between Pearl and Water ~ Hardness and Softness.
We are who we are, soft and sensitive ~ I believe that's the core nature of all humans. That's how we are born. Toughness and hardness are protective layers added later, in compensation for wounds of trauma, survival strategies of sensitive humans, scared of their own softness.
Being in connection with our softness and sensitivity means ~ in my experience ~ that we have access to our vulnerable selves. It's a great strength, although it may not feel like that sometimes.
We are allowed to be soft. It is safe to be ourselves. In fact, it's the safest way to be, because it's authentic.
Authentic softness makes us resilient, fluid and resourceful ~ like water ~ the strongest and most creative element. The experience of vulnerability does not arise from softness but from fear of rejection, which is a whole other story...
Love! So much beauty in there, in those spacious words of softness. I think there are different parts to rejection. For example, I think the biggest lie is that because of how someone else relates to our authentic innocence, we must therefore reject ourselves and/our judge them. This feeling of leaving love for self or other is the greatest pain, other than physical torture/excruciating pain.🦄 To be rejected simply because there isn't an alignment is pretty neutral. I think it's when the implication is "There's something wrong with me," and/or how they show up elicits in us judgment and we leave the seat of What We Are as love and we are devastated, however illusory that departure is..🩷
What you are describing sounds to me like the deepest source of our trauma. Being in our authentic innocence is who we are as babies/ young children. Rejection slams the door in the face of our innocence, telling us we are 'bad' the way we are ~ because 'doing something bad' in the assessment of ignorant parents feels to the child like 'being bad'. This may only be something small 'objectively'. In the child's experience it's huge. It's their whole world as they know it. In that moment the abandonment of self begins and many innocent humans start to practice being people pleasers. That self-abandonment, as you say, is the greatest pain.
We so easily interpret rejection as 'There is something wrong with me' (I'm talking from ample experience). But it's also the route to finding our uniqueness and become strong without losing our softness. Growing from innocence into wisdom.