Spirals
Dolphins, Skating and Gratitude
^Empathy “Dolphin”
Acrylyic on Canvas by Alicia Kwon 2023, copyrighted
I have had multiple psychic intuitive people tell me across years: “It’s time to stop trying to fix yourself. It’s time to accept yourself.”
Yet when the patterns are still there, still manifesting hurtful things, it can be SO hard to be in a place of acceptance. Yet this is what Rumi and so many other mystics teach: When we are trampled like grapes, often at the hands of the unconsciousness of others, or when we think we are because of someone’s unconscious behavior that fits the pattern, even if in this now moment, it’s meaning is different…surrender is the only way to allow the process all the way through.
Long ago in Hawaii, I met some dolphins during a moment of similar experience. They modeled for me the sense of knowing me completely, having this super deep wisdom and empathy, yet refusing to drop their vibration to dive into my suffering. Instead they looked at me with that eye that says, “We know.” And then kept leaping into the air, arcing their backs, then twirling like aerial aquatic playing with light and dimensional frequencies of unconditioned joy.
The things we are hard on ourselves about are an opportunity to see how all of humanity has been flagellating itself and agreeing to be flagellated.
just wrote an exquisite post on Worthiness. This is also a core issue that I am giving my love to in these final weeks of the old year before we start the year of the Wood Dragon on February 10th. And boy am I getting some “fun” opportunities to see where I still have places inside me that need my acceptance for where I am still traumatized.When life is upside down, sometimes it even feels like a downward spiral. The trick is how to dive down and come back up gracefully. It’s so easy for uslightworkers who’ve taken a dive into a lot of density to either refuse to dive and avoid the dark or dive all in and forget we alwayys have wings!
When I was a figure skater, I was known within my skating community for my spiral. I had a supportive experience as far as the coaches I worked with other than the one who groomed me for a brief period of time before my mother put a stop to it. When I heard that the coaches supported Bob Young, when other young women came out about their abuse, which went much further than what happened to me, I felt so distraught. How can good people enable terrible things?
We could talk about Nazi Germany. We could talk about Ukraine - both the child trafficking and the invasion’s true motivations. We could talk about Yemen. We could talk about Palestine and how it’s the same game, different names, forms, roles. “Don’t be antisemetic. So you have to support genocide.” That makes absolutely zero cents!
The thing about a downward dive…whether sky diving, a figure skating spiral or a descent from heaven to earth, or hellish realms, whether within the earth motif or otherwise… is that it can be quite beautiful, as long as you know how to come back up from it. Your foot reaches for heaven. Your heart descends to earth. Then it learns to lift. I am a bit out of practice with my spiral. This is me doing on land yesterday. Next time, I will lift my heart more while I descend.
To any figure skaters out there, I’m sending you a water prayer of love and gratitude. May your sacred vessel be honored. May those who seek to exploit rather than honor the beauty of the body and the soul that it is in and that is in it, be removed from having a single iota of influence. May they be loved back to wholeness where they can cause no harm. And may all enabling of all forms of abuse end right now (intentional and inadvertent) and forever across all space and time. May grace bless us to bless all, without condition, including our own tender places. So be it.
Last night I was led to download a song called On The Wing by Owl City. I’m dancing to it now.
JOY TO YOU, the invincible joy that dances through storms, that changes fucked up norms!
Invincible joy that knows the way through your vulnerability AS the divinity you never stopped being.
No imperfection can take you away from your divinity within your human story. No one else’s imperfection can either. It’s just a story. Write your own way forward in a way that makes your heart SING!
From
It is different from asking to be told what to do.
To listen to yourself and trust yourself,
you have to feel worthy
otherwise, how can you ever receive all those New Year’s resolutions?
You will make them and
subconscious blocks will stop you from receiving them
self sabotage
unconscious programs
collective energy
so many things can steer your ship astray in the sea
so take the rudder
you are worthy
steer your ship towards your dreams
you want to be loved, butterfly?
then grab that rudder like the warrior you are
hold the reigns of your own chariot
So Shall It BE
your inner compass is also an aspect of God
listen to it
trust it
trust yourself
know, know DEAR ONE
that you, yes YOU,
Are worthy
and you are loved
~ From
The whole post from Terra contains gems about discernment, as well as opening to receive our worthiness.
I also want to express my gratitude to
for the friendship and space holding for me personally, as well as just being able to have the dialogue about topics that many find very daunting to broach in a loving and honest way.Check out her beautiful post on the difference between a resolution or discipline that feels stifling and authoritarian from within, and something that, with lightness, playfulness even, we can invite the inner guru to help us resolve.
»And boy am I getting some “fun” opportunities to see where I still have places inside me that need my acceptance for where I am still traumatized.«
YES ~ this is what we are all getting ~ opportunities to see where we are still traumatised + to heal and accept ourselves in those aspects.
It is interesting for me to read this because THIS has been such a challenge for me as well. I can't count the times I had to revisit this place of self-criticism, self-judgment, self-torture... the place of feeling inadequate, worthless = less worthy than who or what?... Until I eventually discovered that I am literally priceless. Just like everyone else.
You are priceless because you are your unique precious human expression of life... which happens to include some dark and painful experiences.
I discovered ~ gradually ~ that the more I encourage myself to delve into those dark places with cuoreosity, the lighter and brighter they become. The deeper my understanding of life and myself. This is the opportunity I see in your spiralling moves too. It is scary. I know.
Everyone's trauma is their personal portal to the 'other side'. It's the process of giving birth to yourself 🦋
I am so touched my post landed with you and you quoted me. Thank you. That is a lot to take in. To be worthy of quoting without ego, just gratitude that yes, the words...the time...the art matters. Because we all do that here. We offer art through words and that is a vulnerable thing to do. Like singing as you have said. I believe what we have been through gives us depth to meet others who have been affected by challenges in deep ways. It expands our bandwidth regarding what we see and understand. And it is in the past. “I survived,” are powerful words. They also mean it is over (hopefully) and here we are in this moment. This amazing moment. Taking a breath. Here. Just here. And you skating in your room without skates. Because skating without the other troubled people’s interference is freedom, joy, and flight I imagine. I never got that far. But it looks like you did. I love that you photographed yourself in a skating movement. In your room. Wow! And it can take time to change patterns. Some patterns can be so painful and frustrating. But it happens, the change. And those hands do slowly come out from behind our back sometimes and say yes to life. And another thing they learn to do is say no. Or yes to this and no to that. It is all such a process.