So interesting how you are tracing back the various threads of your family trauma and watching them braid themselves into your own story. This is what intergenerational trauma does to us. The next generation always becoming a little bit more aware than the previous one. It is a painful journey, especially with the travel companions who are supposed to be our nearest and dearest (but somehow feel so distant and hostile).
The ultimate destination, however, is always love and forgiveness.
As we move on and look back, we gain a better understanding of our elders, we develop increasingly deeper insights into their perspectives. It's like climbing a mountain and getting a wider view. Our parents couldn't understand how we brought up our children, and presumably their parents were shaking their heads when we were little as well...
I see it as a sign that things are changing... hopefully for the better 💕🙏
" It's like climbing a mountain and getting a wider view..."
"The ultimate destination, however, is always love and forgiveness."
^YES - also FYI I'm not getting your comments in notifications
The most recent thing I did before looking here, other then doing some self-empathy on my bed was ask my hubby to improv a song that is his interpretation of my poem/s. There was one from a while ago he wanted to write a song for but we couldn't remember which one, so I just impromptu suggested it after he, my son and I were grooving to music with them on their uke/guit and me singing and a little dancing. My husband did and it was cool - I even asked him to do it again cause the first time I was distracted. Then I asked, "Is there a translation?" He saidi tt's like going into a mountain to find the sun. Then rainbows.
So you're mountain metaphor also includes the climb INTO the mountain to find the Sun, in my understanding <3
Thanks for the beauty if your own journey and your soul presence. LOVE. <3 <3
I wonder about the generation-evolution...where did the fracture first occur? Because I feel that we have had golden ages as well as examples in some Indigenous communities where there wasn't so much separation consciousness/wounding. Also, though, I think in many cultures where there is more cohesion there is also less individual freedom, and to find both you really do have to go to a golden age where free will/divine sovereignty is explored within an understanding of everyone as equally divine and a desire to explore within a consecrated relationship to Source/All Life/Sophia by whatever name, beyond our conceptions, but supporting our highest and empowered conceptions. But if we land in the here and now, your parents and my parents were doing their best. We did our best. And our kids are doing their best. May all beings be happy, safe, free, completely liberated and have both causeless happienss and all the causes of happienss! Om Mani Padme Hum!
And you have learned to give to yourself…which is not easy and so powerful. Thank you Alicia. It is good to read more of your life journey and to see the depth and wisdom… along with compassion and evolution in all you share here. Not easy and lovely to come out the other side. And the journey keeps going. Always more growth, challenge, beauty, and expansion.
Thank you so much for sharing. Sometimes we never know just how much ancestral baggage is flowing through us. Family has always been my toughest conversation. Self-love is always the way home. 🙏❤️
I hear you, Jamie. It's hard to reckon with, isn't it? When the lineage doesn't match what our soul knows it itself as? When we heal ourselves, we heal our lineages all directions. The most recent intuitive I worked with around this basically said, "Yeah you didn't do anything wrong, and your girls picked up on your fear of disappointing you, and in their own free choice, they responded by not communicating things that they would have wanted to be different." When I asked Spirit yesterday "Why," - esp the stuff I wrote on Veronika's page - including my girls' perceptions, the whole getting ganged up on thing by the East Coast crew, none of whom is evil, but all of whom bought into varying degrees complete insanity, including listening to a newly 17 year olds version of reality and instantly reacting in some draconian ways to it, rather than asking the parents for an additional "takes" on what happened and the background on stuff. The issues around how other perceive me have arisen in every context in my life, and in every situation where I own my worth and fully let go of attachment to an outcome, yet stay fully committed to love, it all works out. So yes, "Self-Love is always the way home." I get it about family conversations being the hardest. It's easier to say things in shorthand and have more people "get it" these days than ten years ago. Both my parents were therapists (I have a feeling this may not shock you) so add psycho babble to deeply wounded people with a kid like me who can only suppress their truth if they think they're doing it in the name of God....I gave my parents therapy sessions when I was very young and tried to help. But when I started questioning the dysfunction of the whole system and wondering if the world might be better..Oddly how they have behaved in my adulthood has been far more long term traumatizing to me than the many layers of unintentional hurt caused by what happened as a child. I once sat on the edge of the bathtub with my mom trying to help her forgive herself - that if she could face the truth and forgive herself, she could really change and be free (this was as a young adult.) She told me she couldn't possibly face herself and forgive herself. The same my father, I feel if he could forgive himself, he could do better. But the word that came through loud and clear for me was that I chose to experience all I have in the way of projections and perceptions and real time results of them that are what they are is "So you can know your worth independent of anyone's perceptions."
So interesting how you are tracing back the various threads of your family trauma and watching them braid themselves into your own story. This is what intergenerational trauma does to us. The next generation always becoming a little bit more aware than the previous one. It is a painful journey, especially with the travel companions who are supposed to be our nearest and dearest (but somehow feel so distant and hostile).
The ultimate destination, however, is always love and forgiveness.
As we move on and look back, we gain a better understanding of our elders, we develop increasingly deeper insights into their perspectives. It's like climbing a mountain and getting a wider view. Our parents couldn't understand how we brought up our children, and presumably their parents were shaking their heads when we were little as well...
I see it as a sign that things are changing... hopefully for the better 💕🙏
" It's like climbing a mountain and getting a wider view..."
"The ultimate destination, however, is always love and forgiveness."
^YES - also FYI I'm not getting your comments in notifications
The most recent thing I did before looking here, other then doing some self-empathy on my bed was ask my hubby to improv a song that is his interpretation of my poem/s. There was one from a while ago he wanted to write a song for but we couldn't remember which one, so I just impromptu suggested it after he, my son and I were grooving to music with them on their uke/guit and me singing and a little dancing. My husband did and it was cool - I even asked him to do it again cause the first time I was distracted. Then I asked, "Is there a translation?" He saidi tt's like going into a mountain to find the sun. Then rainbows.
So you're mountain metaphor also includes the climb INTO the mountain to find the Sun, in my understanding <3
Thanks for the beauty if your own journey and your soul presence. LOVE. <3 <3
Yes, my substack notifications are also a bit haphazard. Enjoy your mountains in the sun xx
Ah - so mountains can be! And here's to finding the inner mother we both needed! <3
I wonder about the generation-evolution...where did the fracture first occur? Because I feel that we have had golden ages as well as examples in some Indigenous communities where there wasn't so much separation consciousness/wounding. Also, though, I think in many cultures where there is more cohesion there is also less individual freedom, and to find both you really do have to go to a golden age where free will/divine sovereignty is explored within an understanding of everyone as equally divine and a desire to explore within a consecrated relationship to Source/All Life/Sophia by whatever name, beyond our conceptions, but supporting our highest and empowered conceptions. But if we land in the here and now, your parents and my parents were doing their best. We did our best. And our kids are doing their best. May all beings be happy, safe, free, completely liberated and have both causeless happienss and all the causes of happienss! Om Mani Padme Hum!
And you have learned to give to yourself…which is not easy and so powerful. Thank you Alicia. It is good to read more of your life journey and to see the depth and wisdom… along with compassion and evolution in all you share here. Not easy and lovely to come out the other side. And the journey keeps going. Always more growth, challenge, beauty, and expansion.
Yes Terra! Everything you said. And THANK YOU <3 Hugs for you my divine soul sister.
Thank you so much for sharing. Sometimes we never know just how much ancestral baggage is flowing through us. Family has always been my toughest conversation. Self-love is always the way home. 🙏❤️
I hear you, Jamie. It's hard to reckon with, isn't it? When the lineage doesn't match what our soul knows it itself as? When we heal ourselves, we heal our lineages all directions. The most recent intuitive I worked with around this basically said, "Yeah you didn't do anything wrong, and your girls picked up on your fear of disappointing you, and in their own free choice, they responded by not communicating things that they would have wanted to be different." When I asked Spirit yesterday "Why," - esp the stuff I wrote on Veronika's page - including my girls' perceptions, the whole getting ganged up on thing by the East Coast crew, none of whom is evil, but all of whom bought into varying degrees complete insanity, including listening to a newly 17 year olds version of reality and instantly reacting in some draconian ways to it, rather than asking the parents for an additional "takes" on what happened and the background on stuff. The issues around how other perceive me have arisen in every context in my life, and in every situation where I own my worth and fully let go of attachment to an outcome, yet stay fully committed to love, it all works out. So yes, "Self-Love is always the way home." I get it about family conversations being the hardest. It's easier to say things in shorthand and have more people "get it" these days than ten years ago. Both my parents were therapists (I have a feeling this may not shock you) so add psycho babble to deeply wounded people with a kid like me who can only suppress their truth if they think they're doing it in the name of God....I gave my parents therapy sessions when I was very young and tried to help. But when I started questioning the dysfunction of the whole system and wondering if the world might be better..Oddly how they have behaved in my adulthood has been far more long term traumatizing to me than the many layers of unintentional hurt caused by what happened as a child. I once sat on the edge of the bathtub with my mom trying to help her forgive herself - that if she could face the truth and forgive herself, she could really change and be free (this was as a young adult.) She told me she couldn't possibly face herself and forgive herself. The same my father, I feel if he could forgive himself, he could do better. But the word that came through loud and clear for me was that I chose to experience all I have in the way of projections and perceptions and real time results of them that are what they are is "So you can know your worth independent of anyone's perceptions."
What a beautiful response. Thank you. You are brilliant. 🙏❤️
<3
Takes one to know one! :) Healing blessings to you, my friend - and to all who need it - all ways and forever!!!!
Always 🙏❤️
🦄 <3
YES!