My phone was dying a long slow death and it finally crashed. My husband, son and I had a plan for them to meet up and get me a new one. But they took a lot longer than anticipated. Like a lot longer. Typically trips to the fruit icon location to pick up tech has been efficient and very fast for purchases and only slow for services. When I couldn’t get in contact, my first thought was all the reasons not to worry, because I’ve had a lot of practice working through inherited fears. When I think of all I used to be a afraid of and how far I’ve come, I am really proud. But I am still learning to come home to the love and light that I am. As time went on it really was irrational that they weren’t back and I began to get concerned. I reminded myself that probably everything would work out but that ultimately form is emptiness, emptiness is form, my guys love me, I love them, all is well. I got myself hydrated and walked out my front door to find a neighbor who was at home and ask to use her phone. As soon as I dialed the number, of course I saw, from the up the street, our family car - the one we’ve had since 2013 - round the bend, with its faded bumper sticker: “Fierce grounded joy.”
“Of course,” I said to my friend from up the street. “Of course,” she said. And I walked home, happily watching my husbands gait as he headed for the front door, followed by my son a few moments later, holding a little white bag with a fancy piece of metal, glass, wires and binary coding inside.
I gave my guys hugs, told them I was just glad that everything was okay and my husband went back to work and my kid headed to the coffee shop, having graciously offered to set up the metal fruity rectangle for me. When he came home, we made musical prayers together, him on the piano, both of us singing. “Integrity,” a song he composed that is one of my favorites.
Later I headed out for a walk and ran into a young lady slightly older than my son who has grown up in the neighborhood. I see her occasionally and we have a good connection. Once when she was younger, I gave her a crystal. I love her soul. On this occasion, she was walking her dog. A little white dog. He came right over and nuzzled me and wagged, looking enthusiastic for pets! She said, “He never does this. He always barks at people.”
Something I have noticed is that dogs often reflect their people. Not always - some people like me and the dogs are still protective and bark and and in other cases the person is uncomfortable around me but the dog insists that they want to say hello and the human they are with jerks the collar. But this dog literally behaves opposite around me when it is with the mother and the daughter! If the mother walks the dog, the dog barks at me. If the daughter walks the dog, the puppers melts into me like an ice cream on a hot July afternoon!
Later as I lay quietly in bed, I did some work with the parts of myself that have fears.
The audio above is a short guided practice with the affirmation that I arrived at spontaneously that really helped me and continues to help me when fears arise.
It helps me clear out the obstructions to returning to the power of my positive focus, so that I am not bypassing, but rather honoring and reclaiming my power as a creator alongside having compassion for all the parts holding that power, so that it can be returned to me to create with the power of my focus generating love and light by receiving it from my own soul united with Source.
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