Well Alicia… I think whatever brings you joy, which you seem to live quite consciously, is so key and I would have been sorry to lose touch with you. It is interesting as I wonder about doing lately vs. simply being. I have learned to do and…that life is about contribution. And that contributions are things that get recognized, compensated monetarily, etc…etc… I think it is good to trust your impulses and create where and as you wish. That the energy field of the world takes it in. That platforms are perhaps less important than they may seem. Anyway, I wonder about this too as I have been posting weekly for almost two years—more I think now—and get automatic congratulatory substack emails every week for that as the computer keeps track. And so what if I miss a week? The computer starts from zero I imagine. It is all outward validation. It is a process to learn to free myself from it. The house sounds pretty—especially the waterfall.
Hi Terra! Thank you for the recognition of doing what is aligned. I AM A YES FOR THAT! I got your sweet note - thank you for that! Yes, it has been a challenging time, but also a rewarding one. The sonic - whatever you want to call it - continues to challenge me profoundly -I know this is something you can understand - but I can hear higher tones now too. That is funny about the rewards - I posted almost everyday, though farily short ones, mostly. I never got that. I feel your posts and am tracking with you and sending you love and appreciating the parallel journeys I don’t read all of them. I get you and I am glad you are! BEING - thinking about this too. Being and becoming. Maybe there is nothing to try to be because we already are, but becoming allows us to be what we are in new ways? I don’t know, just playing ;) I love you. xo Alicia
Well, Substack didn’t reward me. Just emailed saying I was in a percentage of writers who had posted consistently once a week and then kept showing me a better number over time. Regarding sonic I assume you hear a buzz or hum from the energy around you. I hope it is not too hard to be with. And I appreciate your words. I am glad to see you will still show up in my feed as long as it resonates for you.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
We’ve all heard this koan. And most of us have heard the scientific response that waves created by a falling tree are only interpreted as sound by a receiver, like a human ear. And…nearly all of us know that the scientific explanation misses the point!
The koan invites us to consider the notion of impact. What impact will any individual, human or arboreal, have upon others? Will that impact be heard (or seen, or felt?)
If you leave Substack, your departure WILL have an impact. Large or small? Who can know? But your absence, like your presence, will always be impactful.
So—I’d encourage you to claim your impact. Write and share what you will where you will—in this world with all its perceived shortcomings. Perhaps your writing will move this world closer to being as you envision. All we can know for sure is that if you do not express yourself, your impact will be lessened.
Wise words from McGOWAN! Impact is a funny thing. When I felt I would leave, I felt I would better impact by not being on here as so often I feel this machine just sucks up what I create and stuffs it into an algorithmic trash compacter labeled, “This person might cause trouble.” My third eye literally hurts so bad when I open up whatever is on the home page or it shoves in my face when I sign out that I actually asked an intuitive, “can you make sure I’m not a horcrux?” I’m not, thankfully. turns out :) I am working so hard to not get triggered by that stuff and I’m getting way better and disengaging from it. I truly think others do a better job than I can at most of the things that are needed AND wanted, but apparently what is wanted is me. Presence. It’s a funny revelation. And a humbling one. No one cares all that much what I think but apparently they actually do love me!
I am humbled to think some wisdom found expression through me. May it be so!
I find my greatest revelations (as in “uncoverings”) come through my imagination. Accordingly, I see your imagining of an algorithmic trash compactor as deeply revelatory.
How would it feel to you if you were seen as a disruptor?
I see you less as a disruptor and more as an exquisite mirror. Most of us go through life seeing “as if through a glass darkly”, which is to say, “as if through a foggy mirror”. What a blessing then, (and occasionally—a profound challenge) to have an Alicia in our lives who reveals that which we struggle to see through the fog.
Is it any wonder, then, that few have yet found comfort in looking through the mirror you offer? I think not.
I, for one, would think that if you aid even one person you have done well. And I know you have done that, for I am such a person.
Your wisdom blended with kindness are having an effect on my tear ducts.
You are a conductor! Seriously, thanks. Thank you for being that reflection to me. It has touched me more than you know on days when yours was the only *like* on one of my posts.
The question what would it be like if I were seen as a disruptor? I understand that to decline the distortions and reflect a closer-to-true mirror IS disruptive. It isn’t trying to be, because I try to make it invitational - heck at dinner we were talking about various people whose impacts on the world I find deeply regrettable. We got to J. Huxley and I said to my son, “Ask me if I love Julian H and he said, “Do you love Julian H?” And I said, “Yes. Because at the very end of the day there is nothing but love. Now ask me if I like him. “Do you like him?” I was ready say no, and then I tuned in and real eyes he has transformed. His energy isn’t “bad” anymore. I asked an intuitive when I had a chance what he’s doing now and they said, “He’s tending a golden field.” It resonated. Then I tuned to D Rock the teller and said, “Now him, he needs boundaries.”
I guess the point is early on I thought everyone would just be really excited about the truth as long as it is presented in a way that is conducive to self-forgiveness. Then I realized about programmed we all are - all of us including me, though I am fortunate to have both received less of it young and to have an innately robust immune system, though occasionally it causes undue inflammation. I realized okay a lot of people literally have given all their power away and they are mind controlled and they don’t want to get un mind controlled because their identity is too wrapped up in it. But I thought a few people would consistently be like, “Thank you for telling me that. I didn’t think of it that way but now that makes sense.” Like I thought if I share in authentic way that is uplifting AND truthful - wouldn’t people want that? Wouldn’t people be starving for something that is coming from a place of truly wanting good things for everyone AND resonates with more truth than what is generally on offer from the various angles that are pushed? I just thought people would say, “breath of fresh air” instead of the awkward silence that happens among my carefully curated list - I have removed more people than I have subscribers over my two plus years here. I wonder what it is people are so afraid of because to me it seems like if everyone who is of good faith could see through the intentionally created obscurative fog, it would be EASY to create the world those same people really do, I believe want to see and to have the old structures collapse once people no longer consent to them.
What do you think prevents people from joyfully embracing their power to be a conduit for a world that is both free and harmonious, where all way win soulful solutions are elevated and humanity truly collaborates to embody the Divine Spark in ways that bring joy, compassion and goodness to all without tolerating abuse or corruption, yet honoring the sovereign uniqueness of individiuals and subgroups without the larger wholeness of our world we share?
You may be right about honest mirroring being disruptive. And within that idea is the catch: most of us don’t want our worldview disrupted, even if it’s limiting or damaging.
And when it comes to conveying something that is “uplifting and truthful,” it might be helpful to remind ourselves that our expression is “uplifting and truthful” TO US. It may be threatening and false in the eyes of others. We have no control over what anyone else sees or hears. We can only speak what is truth for us and let others do with that what they will (including ignoring or even condemning us.)
Your final question is loaded with powerful words that can both attract and repel. So I’ll answer your question as carefully as possible.
I prefer to avoid absolutes. I try not to say something IS this way or that way. I may BELIEVE we are all light and love, but I try not to assert that we ARE light and love. Instead I might invite the reader to join me in imagining we are light and love, then ask how that might change the way we see our world.
So, in the context of this dialogue, I might ask you to reflect further on a world you imagine as free and harmonious. I might suggest that in my view, a truly free world is one that makes room for disharmony. I would strive to convey that I’m genuinely curious about a vision that brings freedom and harmony together. Then I might invite you to unpack that for me.
In short, I find most people are more receptive to the voice of curiosity rather than the voice of knowledge or truth. Most of us only gravitate toward what others call “truth” if we already agree with their perspective. Many of us, though, can and do consider new ideas when we are invited to explore those ideas without being asked to discard any of our cherished views.
Thank you for your genuine and “Careful” but also bold response. I appreciate your perspective. And I think that’s one reason many others are better at what is needed/wanted than I am. Including YOU! I personally love directness when it comes from a pure heart. So there are lots of kinds of truth/Truths. In the case of love/light, I like your example and your invitational “try it on for size” approach which is very non-commital but invites a direct experience. I guess in this instance I was thinking of things that are are verifiable as you can verify within a world that is ultimately imagined. So for example, NPR is hot right now. I’m guessing you’ll remember the peace I did on who founded the corporation for PB and his role in the take down of someone else who is hot right now, whose records may have been manipulated. He too is also tied up with Margaret Sanger and the Eugenics of Planned Parenthood. The interpretation of these things is up for grabs. And it’s possible that what I think are facts are not even facts. Also at dinner my son and I were talking about certainty. It fascinates me. Because to me I am well aware that I could be hallucinating this entire thing and in the sense of it being holographic, I most certainly am. Yet within the parameters of the game, I don’t second guess myself about walking down my front steps. It’s possible the molecules could rearrange differently. I know it’s not solid in actuality, but I’m not going to hedge how sure I am that I can rely on the steps every morning, a lightning strike or other notable circumstance aside. I personally am attracted to people who speak the truth without trying to force it on others but without pretending to be unsure if they’re actually truly resonating that they are confident in the truth of what they are speaking. I also hold that with the truth of which I am equally confident that I could be absolutely wrong. They could be absolutely wrong. And all of it ultimately is relative because truths that matter from one level of reality literally and figuratively don’t matter or are configured with different significance from different reference points. For example I had a conversation with someone who holds opposing views with me the other day. I knew certain decisions had probably impacted him because he is sincere in his views and works in the field. I took the time to ask him how he was doing and to be supportive, although he is working behind the scenes on the opposite view to achieve things I wouldn’t agree with at all. In the moment it didn’t matter who was right or who was wrong because we had the same FEELINGS about struggling against preposterous things that we feel negatively impact populations and individual people; just opposite viewpoints. At the same time, truth for me is a resonance that I feel before I research. That is what drives my research, though lately I am increasingly led to drop it and focus on becoming the vibration I am here to embody more fully rather than reacting/exposing corruption or trying to “teach.” You are absolutely right your approach would be more effective - it just isn’t my way. I LOVE people who truly embody a resonance of truth that speak it like it is without forcing it on others. Your point about harmony or peace including space for disharmony and peace is very on point. That takes a lot of mastery to hold that space and I admire you for it!
You are heard, I have been busy with life, a bilateral mastectomy surgery and healing process. I too have “stepped away” for a while. I hope to write again when the inspiration hits me.
I have come to realize that the thing that’s most important in life is live each day in joy and happiness. That’s how it was meant to be lived.
OMG - you have been through it! Love and blessings and THE BIGGEST HEALING WISHES!
I’m with you…we can’t control what others do, though we can drop breadcrumbs plant seeds and model walking The Way. Choosing each day in Joy and Happiness is revolutionary!!
Love you, Alicia. That place in Hawaii —off-grid with the waterfall, sounds amazing. Follow your heart sweet soul —whatever it is you do. And also that quote at the end! 🩵
Love this ❤️ and so glad you haven't gone. X
awwww! <3 <3 <3 THANK YOU for your kindness and for you and for sharing!
Well Alicia… I think whatever brings you joy, which you seem to live quite consciously, is so key and I would have been sorry to lose touch with you. It is interesting as I wonder about doing lately vs. simply being. I have learned to do and…that life is about contribution. And that contributions are things that get recognized, compensated monetarily, etc…etc… I think it is good to trust your impulses and create where and as you wish. That the energy field of the world takes it in. That platforms are perhaps less important than they may seem. Anyway, I wonder about this too as I have been posting weekly for almost two years—more I think now—and get automatic congratulatory substack emails every week for that as the computer keeps track. And so what if I miss a week? The computer starts from zero I imagine. It is all outward validation. It is a process to learn to free myself from it. The house sounds pretty—especially the waterfall.
Hi Terra! Thank you for the recognition of doing what is aligned. I AM A YES FOR THAT! I got your sweet note - thank you for that! Yes, it has been a challenging time, but also a rewarding one. The sonic - whatever you want to call it - continues to challenge me profoundly -I know this is something you can understand - but I can hear higher tones now too. That is funny about the rewards - I posted almost everyday, though farily short ones, mostly. I never got that. I feel your posts and am tracking with you and sending you love and appreciating the parallel journeys I don’t read all of them. I get you and I am glad you are! BEING - thinking about this too. Being and becoming. Maybe there is nothing to try to be because we already are, but becoming allows us to be what we are in new ways? I don’t know, just playing ;) I love you. xo Alicia
Well, Substack didn’t reward me. Just emailed saying I was in a percentage of writers who had posted consistently once a week and then kept showing me a better number over time. Regarding sonic I assume you hear a buzz or hum from the energy around you. I hope it is not too hard to be with. And I appreciate your words. I am glad to see you will still show up in my feed as long as it resonates for you.
<3 <3 <3 I didn’t get that email, but I DO know what it’s like to be dopamine conditioned by social media.
The sonic stuff - yeah, it’s more than that. I’m always glad to see you and know you are sharing your beautiful light in your own way!!
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
We’ve all heard this koan. And most of us have heard the scientific response that waves created by a falling tree are only interpreted as sound by a receiver, like a human ear. And…nearly all of us know that the scientific explanation misses the point!
The koan invites us to consider the notion of impact. What impact will any individual, human or arboreal, have upon others? Will that impact be heard (or seen, or felt?)
If you leave Substack, your departure WILL have an impact. Large or small? Who can know? But your absence, like your presence, will always be impactful.
So—I’d encourage you to claim your impact. Write and share what you will where you will—in this world with all its perceived shortcomings. Perhaps your writing will move this world closer to being as you envision. All we can know for sure is that if you do not express yourself, your impact will be lessened.
Wise words from McGOWAN! Impact is a funny thing. When I felt I would leave, I felt I would better impact by not being on here as so often I feel this machine just sucks up what I create and stuffs it into an algorithmic trash compacter labeled, “This person might cause trouble.” My third eye literally hurts so bad when I open up whatever is on the home page or it shoves in my face when I sign out that I actually asked an intuitive, “can you make sure I’m not a horcrux?” I’m not, thankfully. turns out :) I am working so hard to not get triggered by that stuff and I’m getting way better and disengaging from it. I truly think others do a better job than I can at most of the things that are needed AND wanted, but apparently what is wanted is me. Presence. It’s a funny revelation. And a humbling one. No one cares all that much what I think but apparently they actually do love me!
I am humbled to think some wisdom found expression through me. May it be so!
I find my greatest revelations (as in “uncoverings”) come through my imagination. Accordingly, I see your imagining of an algorithmic trash compactor as deeply revelatory.
How would it feel to you if you were seen as a disruptor?
I see you less as a disruptor and more as an exquisite mirror. Most of us go through life seeing “as if through a glass darkly”, which is to say, “as if through a foggy mirror”. What a blessing then, (and occasionally—a profound challenge) to have an Alicia in our lives who reveals that which we struggle to see through the fog.
Is it any wonder, then, that few have yet found comfort in looking through the mirror you offer? I think not.
I, for one, would think that if you aid even one person you have done well. And I know you have done that, for I am such a person.
Your wisdom blended with kindness are having an effect on my tear ducts.
You are a conductor! Seriously, thanks. Thank you for being that reflection to me. It has touched me more than you know on days when yours was the only *like* on one of my posts.
The question what would it be like if I were seen as a disruptor? I understand that to decline the distortions and reflect a closer-to-true mirror IS disruptive. It isn’t trying to be, because I try to make it invitational - heck at dinner we were talking about various people whose impacts on the world I find deeply regrettable. We got to J. Huxley and I said to my son, “Ask me if I love Julian H and he said, “Do you love Julian H?” And I said, “Yes. Because at the very end of the day there is nothing but love. Now ask me if I like him. “Do you like him?” I was ready say no, and then I tuned in and real eyes he has transformed. His energy isn’t “bad” anymore. I asked an intuitive when I had a chance what he’s doing now and they said, “He’s tending a golden field.” It resonated. Then I tuned to D Rock the teller and said, “Now him, he needs boundaries.”
I guess the point is early on I thought everyone would just be really excited about the truth as long as it is presented in a way that is conducive to self-forgiveness. Then I realized about programmed we all are - all of us including me, though I am fortunate to have both received less of it young and to have an innately robust immune system, though occasionally it causes undue inflammation. I realized okay a lot of people literally have given all their power away and they are mind controlled and they don’t want to get un mind controlled because their identity is too wrapped up in it. But I thought a few people would consistently be like, “Thank you for telling me that. I didn’t think of it that way but now that makes sense.” Like I thought if I share in authentic way that is uplifting AND truthful - wouldn’t people want that? Wouldn’t people be starving for something that is coming from a place of truly wanting good things for everyone AND resonates with more truth than what is generally on offer from the various angles that are pushed? I just thought people would say, “breath of fresh air” instead of the awkward silence that happens among my carefully curated list - I have removed more people than I have subscribers over my two plus years here. I wonder what it is people are so afraid of because to me it seems like if everyone who is of good faith could see through the intentionally created obscurative fog, it would be EASY to create the world those same people really do, I believe want to see and to have the old structures collapse once people no longer consent to them.
What do you think prevents people from joyfully embracing their power to be a conduit for a world that is both free and harmonious, where all way win soulful solutions are elevated and humanity truly collaborates to embody the Divine Spark in ways that bring joy, compassion and goodness to all without tolerating abuse or corruption, yet honoring the sovereign uniqueness of individiuals and subgroups without the larger wholeness of our world we share?
You may be right about honest mirroring being disruptive. And within that idea is the catch: most of us don’t want our worldview disrupted, even if it’s limiting or damaging.
And when it comes to conveying something that is “uplifting and truthful,” it might be helpful to remind ourselves that our expression is “uplifting and truthful” TO US. It may be threatening and false in the eyes of others. We have no control over what anyone else sees or hears. We can only speak what is truth for us and let others do with that what they will (including ignoring or even condemning us.)
Your final question is loaded with powerful words that can both attract and repel. So I’ll answer your question as carefully as possible.
I prefer to avoid absolutes. I try not to say something IS this way or that way. I may BELIEVE we are all light and love, but I try not to assert that we ARE light and love. Instead I might invite the reader to join me in imagining we are light and love, then ask how that might change the way we see our world.
So, in the context of this dialogue, I might ask you to reflect further on a world you imagine as free and harmonious. I might suggest that in my view, a truly free world is one that makes room for disharmony. I would strive to convey that I’m genuinely curious about a vision that brings freedom and harmony together. Then I might invite you to unpack that for me.
In short, I find most people are more receptive to the voice of curiosity rather than the voice of knowledge or truth. Most of us only gravitate toward what others call “truth” if we already agree with their perspective. Many of us, though, can and do consider new ideas when we are invited to explore those ideas without being asked to discard any of our cherished views.
Thank you for your genuine and “Careful” but also bold response. I appreciate your perspective. And I think that’s one reason many others are better at what is needed/wanted than I am. Including YOU! I personally love directness when it comes from a pure heart. So there are lots of kinds of truth/Truths. In the case of love/light, I like your example and your invitational “try it on for size” approach which is very non-commital but invites a direct experience. I guess in this instance I was thinking of things that are are verifiable as you can verify within a world that is ultimately imagined. So for example, NPR is hot right now. I’m guessing you’ll remember the peace I did on who founded the corporation for PB and his role in the take down of someone else who is hot right now, whose records may have been manipulated. He too is also tied up with Margaret Sanger and the Eugenics of Planned Parenthood. The interpretation of these things is up for grabs. And it’s possible that what I think are facts are not even facts. Also at dinner my son and I were talking about certainty. It fascinates me. Because to me I am well aware that I could be hallucinating this entire thing and in the sense of it being holographic, I most certainly am. Yet within the parameters of the game, I don’t second guess myself about walking down my front steps. It’s possible the molecules could rearrange differently. I know it’s not solid in actuality, but I’m not going to hedge how sure I am that I can rely on the steps every morning, a lightning strike or other notable circumstance aside. I personally am attracted to people who speak the truth without trying to force it on others but without pretending to be unsure if they’re actually truly resonating that they are confident in the truth of what they are speaking. I also hold that with the truth of which I am equally confident that I could be absolutely wrong. They could be absolutely wrong. And all of it ultimately is relative because truths that matter from one level of reality literally and figuratively don’t matter or are configured with different significance from different reference points. For example I had a conversation with someone who holds opposing views with me the other day. I knew certain decisions had probably impacted him because he is sincere in his views and works in the field. I took the time to ask him how he was doing and to be supportive, although he is working behind the scenes on the opposite view to achieve things I wouldn’t agree with at all. In the moment it didn’t matter who was right or who was wrong because we had the same FEELINGS about struggling against preposterous things that we feel negatively impact populations and individual people; just opposite viewpoints. At the same time, truth for me is a resonance that I feel before I research. That is what drives my research, though lately I am increasingly led to drop it and focus on becoming the vibration I am here to embody more fully rather than reacting/exposing corruption or trying to “teach.” You are absolutely right your approach would be more effective - it just isn’t my way. I LOVE people who truly embody a resonance of truth that speak it like it is without forcing it on others. Your point about harmony or peace including space for disharmony and peace is very on point. That takes a lot of mastery to hold that space and I admire you for it!
You are heard, I have been busy with life, a bilateral mastectomy surgery and healing process. I too have “stepped away” for a while. I hope to write again when the inspiration hits me.
I have come to realize that the thing that’s most important in life is live each day in joy and happiness. That’s how it was meant to be lived.
🕊❤️✨
OMG - you have been through it! Love and blessings and THE BIGGEST HEALING WISHES!
I’m with you…we can’t control what others do, though we can drop breadcrumbs plant seeds and model walking The Way. Choosing each day in Joy and Happiness is revolutionary!!
Hello Alicia, I am glad you decided to stay, you being you and sharing your beautiful light is a gift to us all. 😊❤️🙏🏻🌹
<3 <3 <3 Awwww!!!!!! Thank you for sharing yours as well! I would have missed you if I left! <3
I too have been feeling this. There’s been a tangible shift here and I find myself spending less and less time here. Big hug. 🤍
<3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love you, Alicia. That place in Hawaii —off-grid with the waterfall, sounds amazing. Follow your heart sweet soul —whatever it is you do. And also that quote at the end! 🩵
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo