What is Love?

Stories of synchronicity, soul growth, embracing pain, being Joy and the identity of the feminine with me

I stood on top of an elevated curb. We had just had coffee and my husband set out to get the car, intuiting that I had a reason for pausing rather than walking on toward where we’d parked. As he walked off, a youngish man approached, hopped up on the curb and said “I’m just hopping in around.” I smiled. He had good energy, independent of the cigarette in his mouth. I normally am very averse to being around people smoking, but I didn’t even smell cigarette. He smiled back.

He starts the convo: “Is that your husband””

I grin. “Yes.”

“He’s awesome.”

“Yes he is.”

“What’s your life mission?” I asked.

“Love God” came the reply.

““Perfect” I responded.

Pause…

Then he continues, “I’m not gonna ramble on too much, but the answer is to really accept the pain, and then you get free. I mean, the pain is a fire. It’s a furnace that purifies. I mean you got the mother and the father, but steel doesn’t get made by the soft stuff.”

Upon arriving home I got the mail. I wanted to recycle something without bringing it in, so I held in one hand all the important stuff, and in the other the mag I didn't want to bring in the house. But when I came inside I had a total brain blank on what I had done with the important things, though my memory of throwing out the mag was perfect. A few minutes later when my intuition said to, I asked hubby to look, just after he helped me important the picture I added, taken with an android camera incompatible with our apple laptop. Just as I was looking at my stats my latest post, the on I did after hiatus had 13 likes and 13 comments. I thought to myself, "It's lucky Friday the 13th." And that instant hubby came in and said, "I found it. You put it on the grate right next to the recycling - a perfectly logical thing to do while you recycled the other thing."

We may have a blank, an amnesia, but nothing is lost.

At coffee, before my exchange with the man of God curbside, when asked to give a name for the latte orders, the word that came to me was Joy. Later, once we came home, I had a session with a Hawaiian man who mentors people in the ancient lineage of Mu. He described me as fluent in the ancient protocol he opened with, that is of the ancient Hawaiian-Mu people, transmitted to him through a linage that goes back far, far into prehistory. I do not know this language, but the moment I hear it, I feel something. I am in complete resonance. It feels as thought it comes alive in me. He asks me to tell about myself, offering that perhaps an explanation will be forthcoming for what he perceived as my fluency in this language I do not know, but that flows in me energetically when I come into its pattern, its space, its beingness. I do not have an explanation from this side of reality, nor am I informed from the others, except in a deep sense that I have been in Mu before humans were as solid as we are now. It’s always a bit difficult - even awkward for me to tell about myself in a soundbite, because I can’t always tell about all the pie pieces, and I feel that telling about any slice out of context is generally going to feel inauthentic and be misleading. It is easier with this Hawaiian person because he is fluent in the spiritual. I believe I can give him coordinates of my soul and human life that that he will be able to receive without too much explanation to understand on the soul or energetic levels. I feel safe to just let what wants to be said come out. I just pour out what comes to say about myself.

“Unicorn. Eagle. Born in an octagonal log cabin in a dysfunctional Sufi commune. No contact with parents. Before no contact with parents, father said my soul came to him once when I was a child and said, “I ride for humanity.” Two daughters do not talk to me. Son is struggling. Happily married. In my spiritual mission, often my right hand doesn’t tell my left what I am doing. I briefly told him about Noor, the Sufi that I got my original middle name from before I changed it later, I often feel like I have so much I want to offer, but no outlet (other than substack and my ordinary-extraordinary everyday life) in which to. give it. I told him very briefly about my experiences with what has happened when I have spoken truths online. I told him I am okay with all of this, I just want to be able to hold my own own energy without the unbearable pain when I encounter the distortions of others, directed me or simply overlapping with me by default of shared space.

My guide let me through practice from an ancient lineage that dates back to Mu, instructs me to gather from this aspect of self her aspects. We land with, “Compelled by compassion. Passionate clearing. Playful. Joy. He them guided me to ask that version of myself for her name. She tells me, “Love.” I didn’t look for it - it was just the word that arrived.

“Love is safety for you,” then he says. “Notice where love is in your life, in your interactions, and where it is not. He also encourages me to define love for myself, just as an abstraction, but as a living reality that is trackable.

Love is the Frequency of Divinity recognizing itself, joyously and when appropriately compassionately.

Love is Compelled by Compassion.

Love passionately clears all obstacles to that Love Flowing unobstructed among brothers and sisters and throughout all Creation, free of enslavement, exploitation, annihilation or rape consciousness.

Love is Playful.

Love is Joy.

I am Love. Like all of us, I am learning to be who I am within this world of form.

Rumi says:

“Tell me the truth, I asked love, “What are you?”

“I am the everlasting life. I am the recurring joy of living.”

Of the three times I’ve glimpsed my etheric bodies, one was a unicorn-pegasus (with butterfly wings with bees and dragonflies on them) and the other I was an eagle woman. In the latter, it was in the context of a channeled exercise in a program called Initiation. We were invited to imagine another self and then to do an inner child exercise with that self. I wasn’t looking for a spirit animal or anything, nor did I know anything about any symbolism associated with eagle woman. I am only occasionally visual in my abilities, so it was a a big shock to see myself as that…at first my wings were a beige-golden brown, and then after the inner child exercise they became iridescent.

Years later I asked an intuitive what my most natural forms are, and though knowing my affinity for unicorn, they had heard nothing about eagle. “Unicorn and Eagle” came the instantaneous reply.