What is Energy?

When you're a seminary drop out in the waiting room of urgent care after getting bitten shortly before Halloween

Some people feel most comfortable when they can rehearse something and really know what they are doing. I’m the opposite. If I’m supposed to do it a certain way, I’m liable to get nervous and screw it up. If, on the other hand I faced only with the moment and an opportunity for connection and for expression, I’m all in.

I wrote last week about the cat who bit me and how I ended up heading to urgent care, since there was concern of some infection. I really had signs of infection that hadn’t been there before: redness, swollenness, pain etc. The bite would have been far worse I hadn’t had my sweater on.

Urgent care is the only place I’ve gotten healthcare for a while now because I don’t go in for the usual things, since I can usually manage those on my own with a little help my husband to rule out anything serious and my own common sense and intuitive researching. The last time I was in urgent care I had a great talk with the nurse about the superpowers of mushrooms and with my provider about Green Tara - an enlightened being who, according to Buddhist tradition, saw sexism rampant throughout the universe and vowed to always incarnate and gain enlightenment as a woman.

While sitting in the waiting room, I couldn’t help laughing when a woman heard someone John and got up to go in, then told me, “I thought they said Jen.”

I joked, “What if you actually go switched like in Freaky Friday?” “Well,h I don’t think I’d want to switch at a health clinic, but maybe at the fitness gym,” she replied. “Imagine if at any moment you could get switched with anyone in the world….or your child or your best friend, your partner, your parents, your loved ones? Wouldn’t you want to to ensure that it is good everywhere? That there is peace and that it is a safe and flourishing place to be? That people in that place are free? How fast would be achieve world peace and abundance and freedom for all if we knew anyone of us or our loved ones could get switched, even for an hour, at any moment?”

“That’s true,” said Jen. And then she was called back. Actually. We smiled at each other. And another woman in a chair next to the first woman’s shyly looked over and smiled, hesitantly at first, then broadly, her eyes sparkling. People want peace. I know they do. Some of us are shy to say so with all the pummeling against us from all angles, trying to bend our hearts toward aggression that is inhumane, yet rationalized by interest far from the boddhisatva heart of green Tara, whose will is that everyone prosper in peace.

Om Tare Tutarre Ture Soha

I sat down, gazing at the books in my lap and then up, when I noticed a South Asian man walk in with his own book. We were the only two people with books, not phones occupying our laps and focus. I asked, “Good book?”

A few questions later, he asked, “What is energy?”

Good book?

What is energy?

Isn’t it fun when conversations go from casual to ultimate meaning in just a few minutes?

You might be wondering how we got there. I don’t remember exactly but here is what I do remember: I shared about the cat bite already having led to some good…and he finished my sentence…”karma.” And when he shared about the book, it was about creating a more joy and a more meaningful experience for yourself in your work. Having witnessed as an invested bystander the many corporate speak ways that encouraging employees to find more meaningful, joyful work experience can be a form of unpleasant gaslighting, I replied with a calm smile, “That is wonderful. As long as it is authentic.” I asked him what he did for work. He shared, “I am a researcher at the university.” Then he asked what I do for work. I replied that my background is as a life coach and a healer and that I am also a writer. And then out of nowhere, energy.

How does the no-thing birth energy? I asked this question at another urgent care five years ago to.a Buddhist nun while waiting for a script, in the middle of a retreat. She didn’t know. She said something about a sand mandala. On that retreat I wore my unicorn pajamas that made a lot of people smile. And a few people uncomfortable. Not everyone is ready for unicorn jammies in a sacred monastary. But some are, and that’s good news.

What is energy asked the vibrant scientist in front of me in my most recent visit to urgent care.

“Do you want my thoughts on the scientific answer or the spiritual answer?”

“The spiritual answer, I guess,” he said.

“What type of research do you do?” I asked. I have never been one to separate science from spirituality, although I think authentic Spirit will always be bigger than science as we think of it in most modern contexts.

“Chemistry.”

“Okay then,” I say. If you look very closer and closer at the atoms and subatomic particles, the electrons and so on in a molecule, if you get close enough…

Alicia!

I hear it overhead, so I start walking and telling the man I’ve been called so I will have to make this brief, then, in the middle of the waiting room, I finish my thought:

“All you see is waves…energy…and I believe, and feel that this belief is supported by evidence, that consciousness is pre-eminent, while materialists assert… that consciousness is an emergent proper,

Alicia?

I’m walking toward the door…”in reality consciousness is what gives rise to the universes of form we experience as energy coming into form.”

I am at edge of the hall into the area where they take weight and room you if you’re a patient.

“I hope you have a wonderful day and always filled with many blessings!”

He smiles and nods. “You too.”

And then I am late. They’ve already concluded I wasn’t there. I was literally speaking in the middle of the clinic, loudly. I am married to the doctor who is on duty (I’m seeing another provider for the sake of objectivity,) and my speech was 30 seconds or so. I guess I’m glad they don’t recognize me there. It’s…maybe for the best. I got my vitals taken once they realized I was there after all, and my visit went great.

I was happy to get the same provider as the last time I was here. I know she is kind. She doesn’t hold my same views, but one thing I hold dear is that the heart is ultimately more important than the head when it comes to agreement. We can be hone heart and hold diverse opinions. This provider also a year ago, give or take, treated me son when he had a sports related concern. He warmed her up when he showed up with no facial hair…I mean he has facial hair…I mean nothing ELSE covering the lower part of his face. Either way, when she brought up “What about your tetanus?” and it soon became clear that I am not on board with following the recommendations if I do not feel they conform to evidence or to my God-given intuition, we endured an awkward little stretch and then recovered. We talked about my script and about arnica and I thanked for and offered some support around the challenges I know all are enduring where my husband works. I asked “Is there anything I can do for YOU?” She said, “Just the gratitude.” Then, she went for the hug. And it was one of those heart hugs - a long hug, truly genuine, loving, appreciative, across difference.

Unity is not about conforming. It’s about standing in our TRUTH, with open hearts. This is how we build a bridge to peaceful freedom.

How have you seen in your own life something that felt like an oops or bad luck turned into something wonderful?

How could we let go of the need to control an outcome yet begin to create without the need to suffer?

What energy are you using in your creative process to birth more heaven into whatever settings call you into your deepest sense of mission, purpose and power?