The Story of Adrian

Grief, love and dogs

Right next to the pavement…THIS

This dog was abandoned/returned twice. She even survived her sister moving to Boston to be with my youngest daughter who lives there now. We pay extra insurance because she is mostly pitbull.

But she is just a big baby. I always wanted a lap dog. I had no idea it would look like this!

Since her sister left she has had some mild signs of just wanting to be where we are more than usual - coming inside if we do, going out if we do. We try to take her out with us if everyone is leaving the house. Still, in spite of that, she’s doing really great. She is still sad, but also capable of joy.

When we first adopted her she was pooping all over the floor with anxiety and couldn’t be left at all. My daughter and I felt to go to Humane to get her the same day - we didn’t know anything other than the dog we were supposed to adopt was there. We hadn’t seen a picture or anything, it just just all intuition. They were closed, so we had to go back the following day. It turned out she was there when we felt her call, even though the humans wouldn’t let us in. As soon as we saw her, we knew.

Now, even though I know she misses her sister, she’s doing great. Even dogs can learn to move through grief in healthy ways, if supported. We balanced letting her watch her sister leave - aka - not lying to her about what was happening - with giving her extra outings and helping her focus on the good things in life. She loves little kids and some dogs. She likes to stand in front of you with a look of absolute entitlement until you get her the pets and the rubs.

When we know we are loved, we can grow. We can learn. We can change in positive, beneficial ways. Like not pooping where we aren’t supposed to…in human terms, learning to deal with our shit appropriately.

She can jump all the way up into the tree in our backyard like a big cat. Our neighbors were very impressed. She also is fairly psychic and often can tell when a family member or a delivery is coming before there is any visual sign of anyone or anything.

When she wants to see someone - dog or human or squirrel, she makes piggy noise.

Although she looks tough, she is a big baby.

Remember this with the humans. The tough sounding or looking ones often have the softest skin.

Our littler dog, her sister was smaller, but far tougher. Adrian’s skin is not thick. Ashlynn knew to come to me if I was sniffling/crying. Adrian doesn’t bother if I’m in tears, but when I start to pray out loud in a certain kind of way, she knows it’s serious. Then she comes over, wags, presents herself for rubs and waits until I’ve settled down before returning to her crate, which we never shut, due to her previous trauma. She had teeth indentation showing she had been chewing on metal in a serious way before she came to us.

Adrian will walk away if you try to call her if she’s not interested in what you’re offering, or she feels you are trying to “get her to do something.” However, if you let her come to you, she’ll come and sit in your lap. She is her own person.

She is the lap dog I always wanted, but bigger, and independent and sensitive, like me.

But it was my husband who felt we should get another dog. If he hadn’t sensed that, and we hadn’t gone through all we went through with her previously, we wouldn’t be where we are now. Adrian even is willing to be reasoned with when she barks for no reason. You can talk to her pretty much like a person. When you call her out and she knows you’re right, she makes a yawn-whine that is unmistakably human in a dog body. It is very funny.

Adrian loves to relax in the sun. She loves to chase squirrels. One talked back to her once, and she stopped barking at it.