Retro-Grace

Being compassionate with ourselves and others during mercury retrograde

I saw the woman walk in first. As often happens, I got dropped off while my husband went to park to avoid the stress I often feel as an empath driving through various energy patches and so forth.

I made my way through throngs of Wisconsonites on journeying to the Stadium, for a game I knew nothing about. Later, on our way home I would wonder to my guy, “What would an ET anthropologist think about this?”

I sat at a little table tucked in the side near the door and kitty corner from the window table that juts toward the the busy street filled with football fans making their way in mass toward the stadium, many of them happy, carrying blankets, walking past enclaves of completely packed parking lot bars full of people getting their fill even though it’s only 10am. Although I think 12p is arbitrary for “normal drinking,” and I myself have not drunk anything alcoholic in quite a while, it has always struck me as odd that people so vigorously drink alcohol as a community activity - I envision a community where herbal tonics and elixirs and chai and coffee and smoothies and high-probiotic beers and wine and fresh squeezed juices will all be equally accessible when communities gather - and the gatherings will involve singing and dancing that resonates with innocence, wonder, laughter, joy and robust vitality and the goodness of life. Wholesomeness, respect and soulful connection with be the new normal.

As I smiled at the woman at the window table, I noticed she had a pleasant, sweet energy and I liked her immediately. A few minutes later, a warm hearted looking man walked in and joined her and immediately as they welcomed one another in a hug and their eyes and hands touched, I could feel the love flowing between them. When they got up to order their coffee, I couldn’t help telling them so. They were quite appreciative and we shared a good vibe. A little while later, my husband joined me, exclaiming “Parking miracle,” as he sat down beside me and took a sip of the cappuccino I’d gone ahead and ordered, having found a five dollar bill in my pocket. He share with me how he’d found a spot our little car barely fit in only a block and a half away. Considering for blocks and blocks people are selling spots of $30 and up, it was a miracle! I wasn’t a bit surprised though, because I’d been led to go to this coffee shop today, with no thought to the Badger’s game. I haven’t even wanted to go out for coffee for days, the energy has been so intense.

After a lovely coffee date, as we were getting up to leave, I felt led to do something I used to do a lot but haven’t done in years - ask a couple about their love story. It turned out, it was a “God story,” - he grew up on Oahu, she grew up on the mainland, but they share the exact same birthday - same year, same day and met through friends at a Christian conference. Her name is grace.

And that made me think about how much Grace is needed to navigate the times we are in.

Although she and I would have differences if we delved into theology, we would love Yeshua and would agree that Grace isn’t about doing anything to deserve a lot that is so unconditional it can pierce the utmost darkness. Period.

One of the wonderful gifts of the journey I have been on with my husband is that we are now able to consciously realize when either of us acts a certain way because of the energies that are difficult on us each in our own ways and it isn’t personal at all. This makes forgiving each other so easy. Forgiveness can’t be forced, and I deeply support everyone who has been through big hurts to honor their journey. Yet when we do realize it is easier to feel a trauma and let it move past us and not cling to it once it’s over - the less accumulates to have to “not bypass” later.

For me, the things that I could share about my personal share with humans is really nothing compared to the trauma I experience in the energetic, but hardly anyone gets it, and I don’t know anyone who gets it exactly as I experience it. Ironically, this ties back into my human trauma around being different and therefore alone. When energies affect me, that is when I suck the most. I pray and pray and pray to be able to stay centered in love whatever energy I’m in, and although I’ve gotten stronger, sometimes I pray, I mantra, I dance, I do all the right “things” and I’m still affected, at times enough to where what comes out of my mouth reflects the energy I’m in rather than the truth of my soul or what I want to be as a human being.

We are unique expressions of one.

Sometimes, even when we’re doing our best, we all have moments that suck, and moments in which the way we show up sucks.

Even when I can’t feel it, Love is the Truth. Love forgives me and all.

Love sees beyond the illusion created by distortions to the purity and worthiness of my heart and yours and all of humanity’s, in spite of our atrocities - large and small scale.

Most of it is not our fault. Most of it is due to causes and conditions beyond our control. We humanity have been so manipulated. We are so much more worthy and powerful than we realize. And there is a big battle going on.

But a little of it is within our influence and control, and if we choose a lower path, the only thing to do is to get back on the horse and ride into the Light of Grace.

I offer grace to myself and others to pave the way for the forgiveness that births new worlds and heavenly realities within myself and the world I share with those around me.

Since we are in a mercury retrograde, stuff is likely to come up for us. Can we offer this grace to ourselves first and let it flow to one another - and to our world?

Even when we’ve had some really shitty experiences, can we cry what needs to be cried and then remember to laugh? The other day during a cry, I opened my chest, lifted my arms and the crying spontaneously turned into laughing.